Friday, September 7, 2007

The Babalunians' Fear of Me Is My Strength

I find myself in a most peculiar position in respect to Babalú. I have always engaged them in the open without camouflage or innuendo: honestly and frankly. This, alas, is beyond them. Their "strategy" is to ignore me but they just can't manage to do it. I am always in their thoughts and they are always on this blog. I mean, for hours. Each day. Sometimes I wonder whether they gather in study circles to analyze every word I write, or leastwise to look each up in the dictionary. But although they are fanatically interested in what I have to say about them, they cannot bring themselves to answer me forthrightly. Obviously they fear that they cannot engage me intellectually and are afraid even to try. Val tried once and he's still nursing those wounds. Henry, who has a better estimate of his abilities in respect to mine, has never tried, which I suppose makes him smarter than Val, though I would need an atom-splitter to split those hairs. And then there is Ziva, who has never made a secret of her admiration for my writing, although she is greatly grieved that I should use it to attack her Cuban muse.

Most of all, however, they are afraid of me.

So afraid, indeed, that they do not mention me by name when they allude to me, much less cite the Review of Cuban-American Blogs. They know that to do so would mean the death of Babalú. Every time that someone tells them that he has discovered the RCAB it chills them to the bone. It's like an atomic bomb that floats over heads. They try to ignore it but can't keep their eyes off it. It's OK. I understand.

So when Stuck on the Palmetto engages them in a flame war — and they can't, as they usually do, run away — they direct their feeble guns at me, not Rick or Alex. I have already declared my neutrality in this dispute, having already asserted that it is impossible for me to choose between "The Prince of Darkness" and "The King of Fools," so well-matched in this contest that it may well become another "Hundred Years War" before they call a truce and marry each other's daughters.

Ziva, in her remarks aimed at me, mistakenly classes me with "locals who waste cyberspace bitching, and writing asinine second guessed critiques," etc. I am not a "local," of course. I've never lived in Miamiu and it's been 10 years since I last visited it. Nevertheless, I am Babalú's chief "dissenter," and whenever they address their detractors they inevitably will find their way back to me. Quickly, too. It's called an obsession:

"One ["pigeon'] in particular comes to mind; a very talented Cuban writer and patriot who could/should use said talent to eviscerate the regime we all agree is the enemy. What a waste! Que clase de come mierda, if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.

Ziva is a faithful reader of this blog and knows that I use my talents to "eviscerate the regime" and still have enough left over to eviscerate Babalú. She knows, too, that I was once a part of their "solution" till Val booted me from Babalú for criticizing Gloria Estefan (respectfully) whom 4 months later Val would allow one of his staff writers to label a "traitor." No, Ziva, I no longer wish to be a part of Babalú's "solution" because it is no solution, just a continuation of the same 48-year problem.

Henry put the brakes to Ziva's enthusiasm. Also quickly. Poor Ziva actually seems to think that as an editorial writer for Babalú she has the right to write about what she wants to write about. No, Ziva, you are not an equal among equals; you are too smart to thus delude yourself. In any case, Val and Henry will bring you down to earth when you try to soar too high, that is, when, your natural instincts threaten the future of hallowed Babalú. So Henry admonished Ziva to "settle down" like a good little doggie: don't turn this into War and Peace. And Henry is right. To publicize what I say about Babalú on Babalú would be the death knell of Babalú. If Ziva ever attempted such a thing, she would be a fifth-columnist, the viper nestling at Val's breast.

Henry, of course, is good at setting others on the high road, but very bad at taking it himself: "I don't think there's enough time to catalog the rantings of a jealous lunatic." Oh, you have time, Henry; you just don't have the talent to refute the "jealous lunatic" and are too afraid to even try. You are far more realistic about your abilities than Ziva is about hers. And you are, again, right.

As for being "jealous" of you, Henry, what is it that I have to be jealous about? I am a better polemist; I am a better writer; I am a better human being; and I don't run away from my opponents muttering incongruencies.

To Ziva's well-trained ear, Henry's wishes are commands. She knows there is no option for her but to capitulate immediately and completely, and she does. Henry is right "of course." It would be War and Peace and there is not "enough time" nor am I "deserving of the effort." So all the hundreds of hours that poor Ziva spent gathering quotes from me on this blog were all for naught. She will not be allowed to use her "ammunition."

And, indeed, why even try? Does anyone doubt how this version of War and Peace would end? Exactly as Tolstoy's novel (and history) did: the retreat would begin before the offensive.

***

Before they delete their own comments and to insure that they won't, I will reproduce the exchange between Ziva and Henry on a post ostensibly about Stuck on the Palmetto:

Oh man, I have been waiting for this. I have a list, a long one.... I hope this isn't just going to be about a certain local species of "pigeon," but all locals who waste cyberspace bitching, and writing asinine second guessed critiques that make obvious the fact that they do not read Babalu, and don't know the contributors because, either they are full of shit, or they need their medication adjusted. One in particular comes to mind; a very talented Cuban writer and patriot who could/should use said talent to eviscerate the regime we all agree is the enemy. What a waste! Que clase de come mierda, if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.
Posted by: Ziva at September 7, 2007 01:15 AM

Ziva,
Settle down, it's a "semi-regular" feature not War and Peace. I don't think there's enough time to catalog the jealous rants of a lunatic.
Posted by: Henry "Conductor" Gomez at September 7, 2007 01:33 AM

¨War and Peace¨ you're right of course, not enough time, and not deserving of the effort.
Posted by: Ziva at September 7, 2007 02:16 AM

10 comments:

Cari said...

Manuel:

Since they can't even bring themselves to mention you by name. It's obvious that the jealousy is on their side.

I myself found you when they posted about their blog making fun of this one. They can't make that mistake again or others might find out about you.

As I said before, I will still read them...but you always offer a unique and interesting point view.

Your writing always makes me think.

They only make me laugh.

If they were really so sure of themselves, they would criticize you in the open and let the readers make up their own minds.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Cari:

Thank-you for your kind words, which are greatly appreciated.

A lot of Babalú's readers followed you here along the path blazed by Val. The biggest mistake that Val ever made was to set up with fantomas the now-defunct "Cuban-American Misfits Review." Ostensibly a parody of RCAB, it was really an advertisement for it. I saw immediately that it would bring boatloads of Babalú's readers here and I immediately linked it.

It took the idiots at Babalú quite a long time to realize that they had made a mistake, for rather than isolating me, their sophomoric attemt at parodying this blog was creating a taste for it among their own readers. When that became apparent to them, the joke was no longer funny and they immediately shut down the Misfits Review.

As a tribute to their monumental failure of judgment, I still link to that dead wire and it is my sincerest hope that they will revive it some day.

Steve ("Klotz" As In "Blood") said...

Manny: Are you certain Ziva was talking about you? I got the idea she was referring to Habla Mierda, who recently joined the fray over that SoTP anti-Babbleloo post Rick ran on Tuesday.

Hard to follow all the players without a scorecard. Is Ziva the one with the moustache?

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Steve:

Ah, Steve, you must come here more often. Ziva and I share the same ideological point of view. Neither of us would ever call the individual to whom you refer "a talented Cuban writer and patriot" because he is neither.

That individual, by the way, visits this blog often and is always looking to see if I have mentioned him here. I never have and never shall. Whatever his other shortcomings may be, vulgarity is quite enough for me.

Vana said...

Manuel:

They will never mention you by name, to do so may want to make their readers check out this blog, and you know as well as I, they don't want that to happen, they wish you would go away, that is why Henry told Ziva to settle down, and the poor thing, she obeys like a good little dog, it's sad indeed, she cannot express herself openly, the tyranny at Babalunia would not allow that.

Vana said...

Manuel:

Did you read Val's comment, posted later, he said:
Stuck on perpetual negativity, the blog world's CDR

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Vana:

I am inclined to think that Val's comment was aimed at Stuck on the Palmetto since our blog is not "stuck on" anything much less negativity. RCAB is the most hopeful of blogs. The Babalunians and their satellites are bound to do something right one of these days. By-and-by. I am sure of it. If nothing else, the odds assure it.

Vana said...

Yes Manuel you may be right, the words stuck on should have alerted me, what started this feud may I ask? since I seldom go to Babalunia, and never to SOTP

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Vana:

It's not about principles, anyway. Neither of them has any principles. As best as I can tell, it's a pissing contest about which is the least disreputable.

Vana said...

Lol..Manuel I wouldn't be surprised, you know them so much better than I