Friday, August 17, 2007

The World Awaits With Bated Breath: "The Tellechea Hour" on the Fantomas Blog Radio Show

Fantomas said...
Oye estoy pensando hacer un blogtalkradio y quiero que seas mi invitado de honor... daría por cualquier cosa de escuchar tu tono de voz en inglés y en español.
¿Que te parece hoy a las 9 pm EST?
8/16/2007 3:34 PM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
Fantomas:

A great many people would like me to appear on their faux radio shows. You must be on your best behavior all of next week to earn that privilege. If you do, you must announce my visit every day on your blog and every other blog for another week. Only if you faithfully fulfill these requirements can you hope to have me as a guest, which would guarantee you the biggest audience in the history of Cuban-American blog radio. Your ratings could only be topped if I appeared on The Babalu [Faux] Radio Hour, and that, of course, will never happen.
8/16/2007 7:42 PM

Fantomas said...
Che che me la pusistes dura pero no podía esperar menos de ti.

Me extraña que quieras participar con Fantomas en un radio show ...

Pero como ya has aceptado a comparecer entonces we got a deal...

Lo único que te digo es que estas pidiendo mucho, I don't have a problem with announcing your royal appearance on the Fantomas Radio Show on my blog one week in advance.

Solo te advierto algo: si me cancelas después de haberte hecho la promoción te juro por mi madre que te envío los fantomas thugs que tengo en el east coast para que te den una senda paliza.

Así que mira a ver que vas a hacer.

Tell me the date and the time so that I can properly select the show at once...

The radio show will be done in both languages English and Spanish.
8/16/2007 8:33 PM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
fantomas:

My appearance is contingent on your good behavior for one week here. This does not mean that you should vanish for one week from this blog or agree with everything I say, but, rather, that you will comport yourself with dignity and sanity here. I know it is a tall order, and, frankly, I don't believe you can do it. But we will see. Only after you have successfully completed your probation will I consent to appear on your show. You should know by now that I am a man of my word. Of course, there will be no other guests or callers to your show. Just you and I and the biggest audience in the history of Cuban-American blog radio. If you attempt any unwelcomed "reunions" with Val or other unpleasant people (and you know who they are) I will immediately leave the show.

Now, those are my rules and you either play by them or we don't play at all.
8/16/2007 8:53 PM

Fantomas said...
Agreed 100%

Remember just one thing:

I AM NOT A SATELLITE, NEVER BEEN, NEVER WILL BE!

METETELO IN YOUR HEAD.
8/16/2007 9:05 PM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
fantomas:

You may not remember that we tried this experiment before and that you failed miserably to live up to your part of the agreement. I wish you better luck this time. Certainly you have every incentive to succeed. During next week I expect you to dazzle us all with your erudition (smartness) on the RCAB.

Oh, fantomas, how you are going to be the envy of all your fellow Babalunian satellites! Be sure to use protection for your own sake: they do not love you well.
One last thing: I could have auctioned this honor for a king's ransom and instead I bestow this it on you. Think deeply on that, fantomas, or as deeply as you can, and learn the meaning of gratitude.
8/16/2007 9:47 PM

Fantomas said...
Tranquilo Manny, I got your point.

Te lo dice a "kinder, gentler Fantomas" for 1 week only.
8/16/2007 9:50 PM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
P.S.: And, yes, fantomas, I will be giving you demerits for improper conduct (well, not that kind of improper conduct). On the third demerit you will be disqualified from the honor of entertaining me as your guest on your [faux] radio show.
8/16/2007 9:52 PM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
P.S.S: And I myself will not necessarily be nice next week. Be warned. This is not going to be a cakewalk for you. You will earn all 60 minutes of my valuable time.
8/16/2007 9:56 PM

Fantomas said...
I am ready for the opportunity to have such a great guest in my humble and seldom used The Fantomas Radio Blogtalk show.

Next week will be a piece of cake for me in regards to my behavior... no matter what you do to entice me to get disqualified or sent to the madhouse...

I got your number now.

Again, who is your internet nemesis? You have not answered me that one.
8/16/2007 10:30 PM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
Fantomas:

Well, you seem to be in a good frame of mind and if you keep your cool under fire you may be able to carry the day.

As I said, you have nothing to fear from me. It is your friends and allies in the Cuban blogosphere who now envy you in addition to hating your guts (which they always have). I hope that you can survive their spite, not to mention the coconuts and dead chickens on your lawn. Be of strong heart. Other men have chanced more for less.
8/16/2007 11:26 PM

Fantomas said...
Manny just answer me this one...

Why do you say the Cuban-American blogosphere hates fantomas?

What have I done to any of them?

Yo pense que ellos me querían mucho.
8/16/2007 11:54 PM

Anonymous said...
What is the date and time of that show? Shit... can't wait for this one. Buying my popcorn already!

Signed,

A Prudent But Not Cowardly "Anonymous."
8/17/2007 1:41 AM

Fantomas said...
Manny, like you said before, this is not a popularity contest...

Anyways for the people who love me silly and for my detractors:

I want you all to think of fantomas as if I were Alex from Clockwork Orange... here is my favourite part...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxrfVFBZWL4

I am a good friend after all, right Mr. Manuel?
8/17/2007 2:09 AM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
fantomas:

You can see for yourself the excitement that is building in every corner of the Cuban-American blogosphere at my prospective appearance on your show. Never has the dead medium of radio been more alive. The air literally cracks at the anticipation of our meeting. Men who would never have given you the time of day are begging you now for your show's URL. Oh happy inspiring spectacle of the redemptive power of genius!
8/17/2007 3:08 AM

Fantomas said...
It is going to be bigger than Imus vs Sharpton... Even the king of all media is interested in the outcome...

Remember it is going to be just you and me... inside the ring... no phone calls allowed.

No referees...

The world will be listening...

Che Che in español... I can't wait...
8/17/2007 3:14 AM

Fantomas said...
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hostpage.aspx?host_id=1699
8/17/2007 3:16 AM

Anonymous said...
Lol "the air literally cracks: pffftt ... I just have one question — what time is this show? I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE SUSPENSE! Well, not really, but I thought I'd add to the excitement. This is going to be one hell of a show! Be there or be square!
8/17/2007 3:47 AM

Anonymous said...
Cubans are Awesome!!!
8/17/2007 3:48 AM

Anonymous said...
I'm feeling it baby! I'm feeling it! The suspense is GROWING! Start the show!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO HOOO!
8/17/2007 3:53 AM

Fantomas said...
Manuel people are lining up already... this is amazing...

Se me ha prendido el bombillo... si cierras el Madhouse, si dejas de atacar a otros Cuban blogs por gusto y si te portas bien next week ... estoy considerando invitarte once a week to the "Tellechea Hour at Fantomas Radio" where we can both cohost a show and talk about the previous week's acontecimientos en Cuba and the blogosphere...

¿Que te parece la idea, chamaco?

[Then] successful People will start hating us for sure.
8/17/2007 3:53 AM

Anonymous said...
:)
8/17/2007 3:53 AM

Anonymous said...
Fanto, you're dreaming now.
8/17/2007 3:55 AM

Anonymous said...
:0)
8/17/2007 3:56 AM

Fantomas said...
Not really, I am awake just as you are.

Who are you? Why the disguise?
8/17/2007 3:57 AM

Fantomas said...
Una musiquita cortesía de Fanto:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hostpage.aspx?show_id=23261
8/17/2007 4:00 AM

Anonymous said...
lol why not? Good luck to both of you ;)
8/17/2007 4:02 AM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
fantomas:

I don't know if the whole world will be listening, but certainly everyone in the Babalunian empire will be listening. If your show aired at the same time as The Babalu Radio Hour, they would literally be listening live to your show. That is why I tell you that you must protect yourself against the effects of their envy. Because, for once, they do envy you. No longer are you just a tool for them to use against me, the court jester that the Emperor Valentín kicks and jabs at pleasure. No! Now you shall have risen above him, and he shall grovel at your feet. I am delighted to empower you, fantomas. I have long thought that by virtue of your superior intellect (superior to Val's, anyway) it is you who should lead the Babalunian legions. For you, this is merely an opportunity to become the king of Cuban blog radio. Your vision is not as wide and far-reaching as mine (whose is?) To me, it is evident that this will precipitate a revolution in your favor among the Babalunians. I am even prepared to crown you symbolically on the air. You were nothing, fantomas; but you can and will be everything!
8/17/2007 5:47 AM

fantomas said...
"You were nothing"
According to you?
That was a low blow...
8/17/2007 6:41 AM

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
Fantomas:
"Nothing" compared to what you will be!
8/17/2007 7:50 AM

51 comments:

Agustin Farinas said...

Now this I got to see (or hear). First, Fantomas behavibf for a whole week without any fauxpas, and second, Manuel A. Tellechea on the air! What will happen next week, the Second Coming? I am sure everyone at Babalu, Rick, Alex and company will be listening very attentively to see if the can guess Manuel's age just by the sound of his voice. Heck, we may even have Mambo Watch listening.
Hopefully Manuel will not use one of those devices to disguise his voice that we see in the movies so often.
I have already bought my popcorn,a few snacks like beef jerky and a 12 pack of Heinekens. Can wait for the talk radio show! What time is this magnificent event to take place? Please state the time and date. Thank you.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Agustín:

I wouldn't pop the popcorn or put the beer on ice quite yet. Remember that fantomas must first fulfill his end of the bargain, and I don't frankly know if he has the self-control, although now he certainly has the incentive.

I will instruct fantomas to be especially nice to you and Vana in token of all his past obnoxiousness to you both.

As for disguising my voice, it is far too beautiful a voice to disguise.

Fantomas said...

Fantomas:
"Nothing" compared to what you will be!

second low blow...gancho de izquierda ..golpe bajo , i need 5 minutes to recuperate..

ni importa los insultos...
a kinder and gentler fantomas is taking radio lessons just in case

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

fantomas:

What a tabla rasa, you are fantomas! Can I take nothing for granted with you? Is every historical allusion lost to you? Finally, why do I ask these foolish questions when I know the answer?

"You are nothing; you shall be everything" is a line from the English-language version of L'Internationale.

This stirring hymn, which Communists appropriated as their own, is actually an eloquent condemnation of all the sins of Communism and a call to arms for the oppressed, as its first line makes clear:

"Arise, ye prisoners of starvation,
Arise ye wretched of the earth!"

Fantomas said...

manny me mareas

Fantomas said...

go to my blog I have a surprise for you

finally I got your picture from reliable sources in Miami

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

fantomas:

Your assignment for today: say two complimentary things each about Vana and Agustín. After you have done so, you can have the day off.

Your assignment for tomorrow is to get rid of moderation. I cannot appear on blog radio with someone who endorses a policy of preemptive censorship.

That will be all for day; you are dismissed.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

P.S.: In the future you will be searched upon leaving this blog for plate and cutlery. I have been too trusting; but for that I blame only myself.

Fantomas said...

Vana please refill the fridge...how is your dog doing?

Agustin peace and love bro

in regrds to the moderation te digo I was moved to do so after opening te anomimi due to the fact tht a fool in NY or CT is writting obscene comments on my blog..IfI open it I will have a thousand hate e mail..sorry I will not help you on that one... rest assured that all comments that are sent this way are published ..all of them

Fantomas said...

oye do not abuse your privilege of being schedule to appear on my show...

estas pidiendo mucho..

Recuerda it is my show and 5 minutes prior of you opening your mouth te voy a leer la cartilla how we are going to handle ourselves on the airwaves..

no podemos permitir un programa lleno de insultos, bajezas y ataques personales... we can leave that part for the last 5 minutes of the show if else

Vana said...

Well, well I go to work and miss out on everything, this is exciting Manuel, I will hear your voice! I need to know the date so I don't miss it, like Agustin I will get the beer and pop corn ready, let's see if we really get a gentler and kinder fantomas...lol...that's a strong test you are giving him Manuel, we shall wait and see

Fantomas said...

afloja Professor even Vana told you so, your quizes are way too strong

take it easy man , it is not the end of times

Anonymous said...

Manuel,

I noticed that when you posted last night's comments on this thread that you didn't post the whole comment and made punctuational changes that weren't on the original comment.


Signed,

A PRUDENT ANONYMOUS

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Prudent Anonymous:

I inserted accentuation and regularized grammar wherever necessary. A thread can be as peculiar in that respect as the commenters themselves; but when I transform a thread into a post, I naturally clear the debris.

It is odd to see one of the tribe of the Anonimi being possessive about words he left orphaned in the world, like the French philosopher Rousseau, who put a dozen of his own progeny in orphanages, writing a treatise on the education of children (which he did). However, any extraneous comments of yours that were not reproduced added nothing to the theme of this new post. You may find your comments, warts and all, in the original thread where you made them.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Fantomas:

Moderation means the death of any blog that institutes it. I have lectured you and others on this subject many times: moderation is no more than preemptive censorship. If that does not dissuade you, then consider the fate of Oscar Corral's dead but unburied Miami's Cuban Connection.

On the day that I appear on your show I will insist that you do away with moderation for the duration. Afterwards you may do as you please.

Your comment to Vana about her refrigerator does not count as a compliment. Try again [and you are lucky I did not count it as a demerit].

On the day I appear on your show, Babalú and your fellow satellites will not be mentioned at all. You will be free to explore my mind, which should be a big enough task for you, God knows. I will not, however, discuss lesser intellects with you other than your own.

Fantomas said...

I will not, however, discuss lesser intellects with you other than your own.

Y siguen los insultos.... Hasta cuando tendre que aguntarte...

I sincerely hope that you are a man of your word and that you will not back pedal at the last minute or call in sic

are we ready for the time and the date so that I can officialy schedule the show...

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

fantomas:

To answer your question. ¿Hasta cuando? I suppose until I make my appearance on your show and crown you the King of Cuban Blog Radio. Real manhood consists in taking pain with cringing, fantomas. It seems to me that you are cringing altogether too much. If little things upset you so much, I am sure I will have you in tears by week's end.

Don't forget to compliment Vana without allusion to your prior insults. And you could try complimenting me a little too. Remember, you are on a quest for a prize and the prize is mine to bestow.

We shall set no date until you have successfully completed your one week trial. And a trial it will certainly be as the week advances.

Vana said...

Manuel:
I will accept nothing from fanto (notice I did not call him fanta) except an apology, he called me a mala Cubana, I take that from no one, plus other insults he sent my way, some people need to check their tongue before they speak, if the apology seems genuine to me, I will accept it, I can forgive, but of course never forget, and with people like him I'm always on guard, we shall see....

Fantomas said...

Vana I usually do not call mala cubana to anyone unless you had prior attacked me mercifully..

I dont know you really to make such a blatant statement..

If I hurt your feelings I am deeply sorry about that ..I promise I will never call you again...

"those who fight and denounce tyranny in Cuba are friends with fantomas"

God bless you Vana

Fantomas august 17, 2007

And Señor Tellechea ..please have a nice dinner tonite and enjoy your weekend...Cojalo suavecito pero cojalo

8/17/2007 5:15 PM

Vana said...

Fanto:
I will accept your apology, but, you better really be a gentler and kinder fantomas, and comport yourself properly, if ever you again treat me with disdain, I will not hesitate to stop speaking to you forever.
God bless you too

Fantomas said...

Manuel is that you writting as Vana

to my knowledge you are the only one who uses the word comport

Ouch

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

fantomas:

I do not own the exclusive rights to "comport." It is an English word but one not usually heard in conversation. It is, however, not uncommon in writing. Cubans, in particular, are usually surprised that the word exists, and, when they discover it, use it often because of its affinitity to the Spanish "comportar" and "comportamiento" (comportment).

As Vana used the word correctly, it is as much mine as hers. You can adopt it also if you can use it correctly.

Rather than question it, you should accept her generous apology and take her wise advice.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Fantomas:

Enjoy your dinner. I am sure that you would invite us if you could. However, I would gratefully decline your invitation because the day has not yet come when I would willingly eat raw fish or raw anything. I will say that your eating habits are quite cosmopolitan; mine, on the other hand, are very provincial.

Vana said...

Manuel:
You are like my husband, he will not eat sushi, my daughter and I on the other hand love it! whenever we are out and about together we end up in a sushi bar, I love it all! even the raw oysters, you should try it, start with the cooked ones, yes there are some crunchy rolls they are cooked, mmmm so good, I know if you tried it you would like it, I'm surperised fanto likes it

Vana said...

Yes fantomas that was me using the word comport

Vana said...

oooops surprised

Agustin Farinas said...

Fantomas,
I see you are being nice to Vana and this I appreciate very much. Hopefully we can have the pleasure of listening to this forthcoming talk radio show and we call all be better for it. Reading the written word can sometimes lead to misinterpretaions, so I hope we can all listen and improve our communications. I am looking forward to this show.

Fantomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Manuel A.Tellechea said...
Prudent Anonymous:

I inserted accentuation and regularized grammar wherever necessary. A thread can be as peculiar in that respect as the commenters themselves; but when I transform a thread into a post, I naturally clear the debris.

It is odd to see one of the tribe of the Anonimi being possessive about words he left orphaned in the world, like the French philosopher Rousseau, who put a dozen of his own progeny in orphanages, writing a treatise on the education of children (which he did). However, any extraneous comments of yours that were not reproduced added nothing to the theme of this new post. You may find your comments, warts and all, in the original thread where you made them.

8/17/2007 3:30 PM

Here's a wart
LOL
Get over yourself dude,seriously. Stop taking your thoughts so seriously.Your alienating some of those who may have thought there was some truth in all you said. Lol Who are you to label anyone anything anyone, especially people you don't know? You write well but sometimes you get a little wordy in the boring sense. Obviously my words weren't orphaned bc you read them.

Anonymous said...

Correction above-

Who are you label anyone anything?
NOT
Who are you to label anyone anything anyone

Look forward to hearing the show. It should be very interesting. :)

Anonymous said...

Night all! ZZZZZ and don't forget to treat Anomini with respect bc we all remember why you started this blog.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Anonymous:

You must really hone your sense of humor because without it you will be forever handicapped in your endeavors to understand my writings.

Sadly, I will never be able to understand those as yourself who find it in the last satisfying or relevant to meld yourself into the vast tribe of the Anonimi. Show some imagination, at least. Don't just be "Anonymous." Sign yourself "Prudent Anonymous," create an identity distinct from the other Anonymi even if it's still not your real name. Call yourself "Prudencio" or "Prudentius."
Something. Anything. You will never be able to find again anything that you wrote under the rubric of "Anonymous," supposing you ever had to. Why hurl your thoughts to the wind? Why, indeed, leave them as orphans of the storm? The only explanation is that you find your own thoughts and words expendable. Sad. The onus is not on me for pointing that out to you but on you for doing nothing about it.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

fantomas:

So you are addicted to the Cuban word compota, thou great dolt, and think that "comport" is its equivalent in English?

Well, I have news for you.

There is an English word for compota:

Compote.

Did you eat your compote today? Let a little sweet break the tedium of your pap.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Anonymous:

I agree with you that fantomas would do anything to have me appear on his blog radio show. If I consent to do so it would be by telephone which would make it impossible for him to indulge any unnatural propensities supposing he were so inclined.

Anonymous said...

Thank You for your response my comments.
Signed,
El Prudencisimo Anonymouski lol

No on the serious note, I as an anonymous commenter have NEVER said anything nasty here. I understood your motivations to start this blog but when you called anonymous "cowards", I was like who does this guy think he is? However anyone chooses to comment here should be respected, especially when they were not being nasty but supportive, because afterall, you provided the option for anonymous commenting here.Well time to get away from all this mind stuff while the present moment passes me by. Just food for thought.

Vana said...

Oh oh Manuel, fanto is threatening you, not a good thing, Manuel take another point off fanto for threatening, he's not behaving like he promised

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Fantomas & Anonymous:

As Fantomas already knows, I do not delete comments. However, I agree that this discussion is at best indecorous and should be removed to The Madhouse, which I have done. Any further comments along the same lines shall join their fellows there.

What Anonymous claims here is unprobable in any case and irrelevant in all cases.

However, fantomas, since you have seen fit to threaten me on my own blog, I have no recourse but to assign you one demerit. You still have two left before your beautiful dream dies.

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

To Fantomas & Anonymous:

I am tired of tranferring comments to The Madhouse. Go at it tonight and tomorrow morning I will close this thread and complete the transfer.

Remember, fantomas, that you refused to compromise your so-called principles by getting rid of moderation (preemptive censorship) on your blog when I asked you to. By the same token, I cannot compromise my principles by deleting comments, though I have accommodated you insofar as I could by burying them in The Madhouse. More I cannot do.

By the way, another demerit to you for threatening me again.

You have one left.

Fantomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fantomas said...

anonimous you got no ammo against me watsoever

te lo juro you got nothing on me...

i challenge you right here , right now

dale tirame algo , se que no tienes nada

Fantomas said...

i am taking your picture off my blog ...of course i can always reconsider to place it again if you obey mu request of protecting my reputation in your blog...failure to protect my reputation in your blog will sink you to the bottom of my ocean

Anonymous said...

WOW, MANUEL ENRIQUETTA IS THREATIN YOU AGAIN. WELL, ENRIQUE WE HAVE ENOUGH PLUS ONE EMAIL YOU SEND US. ABOUT JAY AND CLAUDIA. I'LL GIVE YOU TIME TO FRESH YOUR ONE CELL.

Fantomas said...

manuel y asi es que tu quieres que la gente te respete..

primero abres un blog en contra de fellow bloggers y ahora per,mites que niños de 14 años te destryuan el blog y los proyectos que iban encaminados muy bien

entonces tu permites que UN ENEMIGO TUYO del otro bando que no quiere que se de el programa radial me ataque vilmente y sin fundamento dañando mi tan apreciada y distinguida reputacion en la blogosphera cubana

no mejodas compadre ponte a trabajar y mira a ver QUIEN CARAJO TE ESTA HACIENDO DAÑO DE VERDAD A TI ..

PORQUE FANTOMAS TIENE UN ESCUDO DE ACERO , BRO y a mi no hay quien me toque

on the other hand , you should at least only allow register users in your blog because it seems that the anonimi are at fault..after all you only open the anonimi a few days ago AFTER I CONVINCED AND DIRECTED YOU TO DO SO...y eso lo sabe todo el mundo aqui

Anonymous said...

WOW, "OBEY" commanding. don't let erinquetta speak to you like that.

Anonymous said...

waaaa waaaa enriquetta this is about you enriquetta rubia not manuel, so don't tryin to involve him into this arroz con mango that you started long time ago. is time to pay the piper enriquetta and you're scare people find out about your double live.

Fantomas said...

compadre usted no tienemas nada que hacer ..primero borrastes tus blogs y corriste como gallina, despues embarazastes a la perra, que lo mas seguro no es ni tuyo( te recomiendo el DNA) y ahora te dedicas a hablar caca por estos lares.. Oiga brother consigase una mujer o un macho que te mantenga ocupado los sabados por la noche ...

dile a Sole que ya mismito le obtengo el permiso para trabajar el carrrito sanguichero...laura me lo tendra listo el lunes

te voy a sorprender en tu centro de trabajo ya tengo el nombre de tu jefe ..vas a conocer de verdad de que soy capaz..te daras cuenta en par de dias

Fantomas said...

maNuel as a blog administrator i give you a big


F

Anonymous said...

41 years old man with no kids or wife, hmmmm i smell a HOMO!!

Fantomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fantomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manuel A.Tellechea said...

fantomas:

I have protected you as much as I can from those chickens that are coming home to roost (so to speak). You and your vaunted reputation are safe in The Madhouse; take refuge there and nothing will happen to you.

I really can't figure you out. First you ask me to allow anonymous comments and then you don't want anonymous comments. Anonymous accuses you of being a pederast and what is your reaction? To threaten to inundate this site with material from NAMBLA.

How do you think that makes you look?

You have already admitted that you did that to Miami's Cuban Connection, as I long had suspected.

What's next?

Are you going to confess next that you are "John Longfellow?"

Didn't I predict years ago that Longfellow was a Puerto Rican?