Sunday, January 18, 2009

Notable & Tardy: Henry's "Nightly Prayer"

"I pray that Fidel Castro should die of a painful heart attack. My prayer morphs into a meditation as if I could cause this event to happen. I concentrate on it. I envision him alone in a plain bed. He’s wearing boxer shorts and a sleeveless camiseta. A ceiling fan spins on the ceiling. I envision his heart and the blood vessels that provide blood to it. I imagine myself clamping those vessels shut with my fingers. Sometimes I just envision crushing his heart with my bare hands." — Henry Louis Gómez, "A Nightly Prayer," Babalú, January 18, 2009

A "painful heart attack?"

Really, there are worse ways to go.

Since nothing is impossible for God, why not ask that Fidel be struck by lightning or that the earth open up and swallow him? Hackneyed, granted, but still quite lyrical and no more than he deserves.

Or perhaps implore God to turn Fidel's anus inward so he can drown in his own excrement? Well, that prayer has been answered anyway, for whomever it was that made it. Still, the successful supplicant did not take into account Castro's almost inexhaustible ability to assimilate shit, so the world still waits for him to reach his limit.

Perhaps Henry is right — a quick heart attack might have been best. As for his fantasy about carrying out God's sentence on Fidel, though the sentiment does Henry credit, his technique is far too complicated for the task at hand. We are talking about an 82-year old man who may weigh at most 140 lbs. A pillow over his face should do the trick, or, if Henry insists on laying hands on him, it shouldn't be too difficult to snap his neck or twist it like a chicken's.

The problem is not killing Castro; it never has been. He is as mortal as any man and surely more people want him dead than not. The problem is getting close enough to Castro to do it. The only man outside Castro's immediate circle to have had that opportunity was Ted Turner when he went quail hunting with Castro 20 years ago. Fidel actually used to load his rifle for him. Too bad that Ted is not the shot that Vice President Cheney is.

I should advise Henry to forget about the small details in his mind's eye (e.g. the boxer shorts and sleeveless camiseta) and the "ceiling fan spinning in the ceiling" (where else?) and concentrate instead on how he's going to get pass Castro's security detail. There's the rub since even his own sons don't have unrestricted access to Fidel. So, definitely, Henry's fantasy needs a prequel which explains how he evaded Castro's praetorian guard to carry out this mission of mercy (for all Cubans, except Fidel). Perhaps there is a clue in Nostradamus Dorshner's Prophecies; he should consider plumbing these some more.

To make Henry's "meditation" more historically accurate, I should let him know that Fidel wears pajamas, the old-fashioned kind with a belt (yes, swimming suits had belts once, too). There's a famous picture of him arrayed in that attire and maybe I can find it for him.

I only regret that Henry did not make the ajusticiamiento of Fidel Castro his first BUCL Campaign.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tal parece que el que mejor mate a fidel ahora se convierte en mas cubano

Es bochornoso que nosotros los cubanos no hayamos podido matar a la bestia long ago

Ya el daño esta hecho y la ruina de Cuba perdurara for a long time

coche funebre said...

36 hours

Anonymous said...

This blog is coming to an abrupt end

The clock is ticking

Babalu is already claiming victory

They won

Manuel A.Tellechea said...

fantomas:

Fade out time is Tuesday, January 20th @ 11:59 AM.

Reset your countdown clock.

If you want me to leave an open thread, I suggest that you comport yourself like a gentleman to the end.

Vana said...

Castro is not laying under a ceiling fan, I'm sure he's in a very well air conditioned room, Henry's vision through meditation, sounds like something out of Casablanca.

Anonymous said...

fantomas:

Fade out time is Tuesday, January 20th @ 11:59 AM.

Reset your countdown clock.

If you want me to leave an open thread, I suggest that you comport yourself like a gentleman to the end.

El comport de fantomas siempre ha sido A plus. Tu cumple con tu palabra de cerrar como le prometistes a todos tus lectores

Ojo no puedes abrir otro blog or website . Ese no es el deal

Solo te quedaras de comentarista en otros blogs

Podras comentar tu aqui si deseas en el post final que sera un open thread que llegara algun dia a 1 millon de comentarios

Pero para lograr eso hay que trabajar duro para que puedas entrar al Guinnes record

Anonymous said...

Fade out time is Tuesday, January 20th @ 11:59 AM.


No, fade out time is mañana lunes un minuto despues de 11.59 pm

pOBRECITO cHARLIE said...

ACRIBILLAN LOS COMENTARISTAS DE PENULTIMOS A CHARLIE BRAVO Y SU NUEVO HAVANA COURIER

Anonymous // Jan 18, 2009 at 10:43 pm

it badly needs an editor. the first sentence is already awful.
2 Pili // Jan 18, 2009 at 11:31 pm

Lo unico que pudiera recordar a los viejos pamphlets es el titulo/logo…

Anonymous said...

What is this world coming to Mansuelo

Sarah Palin y Mck lost

Claudia Fanelli's Eagles were dumped tonight


Charlie Bravo can't barely write

the Cardinals will be Superbowl champions in 09

Benicio del toro may get the oscar

Manuel is closing el martes

Henry gomes is still a 5 year old prodigy kid

And both fidel and fantomas are still alive and kicking