The Long-Awaited and Much-Requested Fantomas Review

I can honestly say that no one has begged or cajoled me as persistently as fantomas for a review of his blog. The only way I can take this is as a compliment directed at both of us: at me because he obviously values my critical acumen, and at him because he must be supremely confident of his abilities and of his blog to thus inopportune me.

Enrique, the transcriber of AbajoFidel and a spiritualist, perhaps, claims to channel some mysterious entity from Santiago de Cuba named fantomas. Now, there are indeed two personalities writing this blog, but not two persons. These personalities co-exist in the same psyche — one serious and the other farcical: the latter detracting from the former as the former adds to the latter. The fantomas who regales us on our blog is irreverent and uncontrollable (except by me). In a previous incarnation he went by the moniker "Pee Wee Herman," which says a lot about his ability to laugh at himself and confirms the solitary nature of his acts. Pee-wee was much more radical and confrontational than even fantomas and his pranks were more destructive. Fantomas is a more refined version of Pee Wee but not refined enough. It still provides a contrast to the blog's other personality who goes by the name of Enrique and is as formal and earnest as fantomas is casual and intemperate. Recently fantomas asked me to remove the Anonymous filter, eliminate verification and invite the forces of anarchy as permanent guests on RCAB. On his blog, he moderates every comma, and, we suspect, tailors the comments to match his own opinions and be an extension of them. Ultimately this is the only use which preemptive censorship, as I long ago dubbed moderation, has — to alter reality and create opinion by falsifying opinion. Of course, fantomas is not the only proponent of so-called moderation and he is certainly no exception in exercising the freedom on other blogs which he denies to his own readers. Yet that is his prerogative; one which I, for one, would be wary to espouse because it is so blatantly hypocritical and at odds with everything which all of us swear we want for Cuba.

On his blog, that little well-regulated universe of his where the lawns are always trimmed and no one speaks out of order, Enrique occasionally rears his head above fantomas' clownish mask. He is the only blogger and among the few of his generation to be acquainted with the fine Cuban art of choteo, to which no less a sage than Jorge Mañach devoted his best book. Hence he can be so unaffected as to say (as he has here) that he does not understand the "Wet Foot/Dry Foot" policy and never did, or so completely shamefaced as to incite, by twisting people's words or intimating that some unflattering truth is being concealed from them, useless conflict that only feeds his warped sense of the ridiculous. He is not a humorist in any sense, but an exploiter of human foibles, the guy who points and laughs when somebody stumbles. This obviously amuses him and may feed some inner need to sow chaos and let others reap the whirlwind. Yet I must confess that I am at times amused by his enormities; the character of the man because of its many peculiarities of mind and temperament is not without interest to a clinical mind. In fantomas we are dealing with someone who is an ass intentionally and unapologetically. Val Prieto, by way of comparison, is an ass also, but always unintentionally and even unbeknownst to him. In fantomas it is an imposture; in Val, it is Nature.

We have inserted Val in this review for a purpose, which is to test whether fantomas is, as he has asserted one hundred times here, his own man who BUCLes to no one. May it be so. Yet I have on more than one occasion felt that he was BUCL's special envoy to this blog, granted letters of marque by Val & Henry to foment chaos here, and that fantomas, at any moment, would hoist the Jolly Roger. To suppose that Val & Henry could really have such power over somebody else is really to suppose a lot. The real proof of their control will come when they request the second $100 contribution, which I understand they have just done. If fantomas reproduces this review on his own blog, with the casual references to Val, we shall have prove of his honesty. If not, it will be proven that he is indeed in Val's thrall and functions as an appendage of him. We will see bye the bye

We asked fantomas to provide us with three posts from his blog that would show him at his best, demonstrating by this request, I think, the best disposition towards him. This he has kindly done, and it is to these three post that I will refer in judging him as a blogger in his own right and not just as a frequent guest here. One of these posts is entitled "Raúl Castro Should Take the First Step." In opening Cuba, that is. That such a thing could even be considered as a possibility — and it is more likely that the Martians will land and liberate us — shows a facet of fantomas' moral universe which is as virginal as a newborn. If he can believe for even a moment that Raúl can be susceptible to change from pressure at home let alone be the initiator of it, then there is nothing that he won't believe. We certainly hope that fantomas is at least a bit more cynical than Enrique. This explains to us, however, his infantile faith in BUCL because Val & Henry's are much more likely to bring change to Cuba than Raúl though somewhat less likely than the Martians. The other post that he suggests to us turns out to be the same post, which we assume is meant as emphasis. We will just as emphatically assert that Raul will gladly forgo the financial benefits (to himself) of adopting the Chinese model in order to avoid a Tianamen Square in the "Plaza de la Revolución." He knows that if he opens the pressure cooker even a little bit it will explode in his face. Absolute control he can manage; anything else is suicide.

There is yet a third article for us to review, but we can't find it. Loathe to review him on the basis of just one (dipsy) post, we went on to read others on our own and found every other post better than the one he submitted to us. This is a positive development; for otherwise we would have serious reservations indeed about his sanity. As it is we find him to be very traditional and unobjectionable in his views overall (and this may be the worst thing we can say about him from his perspective).

In truth, we expected far more from fantomas. What we found is that he is not nearly as "in your face" on his own blog as he is elsewhere. Not that he's exactly passive but hardly the firebrand that we had expected. Certainly no killcastro or Charlie Bravo. But perhaps I am being unfair to him by comparing him to such models. The success of his blog depends on him infusing more of himself in it. Perhaps this is not possible because he can only be himself when engaged in reparte with somebody else and Enrique and his alter ego fantomas never tangle. He is desperately in need, I think, of a more contrarian alter ego.

Complacido, fantomas.

Now, who is next on line for a review?