Sunday, September 30, 2007

What Judge Jeri B. Cohen Should Take to Bed Every Night

In case you are unaware of it, Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Jeri B. Cohen is a graduate of Harvard Law School (class of 1985). This may explain a great deal because at Harvard Law the law is not on the curriculum. I kid you not. Just slightly before Cohen was admitted Harvard Law School decided that there was more to making a lawyer than teaching him law. Now, instead of reading law, as the old expression was for learning the law, a student is expected to intuit the law from other eclectic studies surrounding, approaching but not quite legal studies.

The 20 years since she graduated from law school do not seem to have supplied the deficiencies of her legal education and now it is probably too late to expect that she can fill all the holes in her knowledge of the law.

But there is a book which I think can help her get a handle on the duties and responsibilities of fatherhood, which are central in this case. In fact, we are surprised that she was never exposed to the book in law school, and she must really have gone through hoops to avoid it in grammar school. It was written by the greatest liberal mind of the 20th century.

The book is still in print and it has many nice pictures to further her enjoyment and comprehension.

The book is called Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss.

It's the story of an elephant named Horton who sits on an egg which its mother Lazy Mazie left in its care (or, more accurately, abandoned) while the bird went on an extended vacation in Palm Beach. Horton the Elephant goes through many ordeals protecting and nurturing that egg.

Then the egg hatches and the mother shows up to claim it:

"But it's MINE!" screamed the bird, when she heard the egg crack.
(The work was all done. Now she wanted it back.)
"It's MY egg!" she sputtered. "You stole it from me!
Get off of my nest and get out of my tree!"

Poor Horton backed down
With a sad heavy heart...

But at that very instant, the egg burst apart!
And out of the pieces of red and white shell
From the egg that he'd sat on so long and so well,
Horton the Elephant saw something whizz!

IT HAD EARS
AND A TAIL
AND A TRUNK JUST LIKE HIS! [...]

IT'S AN ELEPHANT-BIRD!

And it should be, it
should be, it SHOULD be like that!
Because Horton was faithful! He sat and he sat!
He meant what he said
And he said what he meant...
And an elephant's faithful
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!"

5 comments:

  1. That seems to be a very deep book for Harvard Law, Manuel....

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  2. Yes Manuel, it should be like that! it should be that the one who does the nurturing, and devotes the time, it should be they who keep the child.

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  3. I think I will call that school from now on Harvard LOW.

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  4. We all know what other TRASH came out of Hah-vahd. Emphasis on the "Hah!"

    Cannot this travesty of a pseudo-judicial edict by a prima facie incompetent and deeply prejudiced ersatz "judge" be appealed? Were I to have the brains and the requisite law degree - from a real law school - there would be no hesitation in taking on this case on behalf of this unfortunate child, pro-bono.

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  5. LOL.. that's a good one Charlie, Harvard LOW school, where you learn nothing about the LAW

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