Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Madhouse


Fantomas is Val & Company's ambassador to the Review of Cuban-American Blogs. He used to be also the Minister Plenipotentiary from BUCL until its late implosion. You know what they say about ambassadors: they are the people that the ruler wants out of the country.

I have respected fantomas' diplomatic credentials, even if I chose not to appoint an ambassador to represent RCAB's interests in the wastelands of Babalunia. But Fantomas, as he has amply demonstrated here, is no diplomat. In fact, it would be hard to conceive of anyone who is less qualified by temperament or education to be an ambassador. We could, of course, declare him persona non grata and banish him from our domain. But we are not Babalú. RCAB is a republic of ideas and so it will remain. However, as some of our most respected citizens have pointed out, fantomas is clearly not in possession of his mental faculties and may constitute a danger to himself and others. It is for this reason that we have been obliged to establish a Madhouse in our community.

Fantomas has been in the habit of making outrageous, insulting and threatening statements here which he later would delete when he was briefly restored to sanity (or what passes for sanity with fantomas). As it would go against our principles and the very rationale for this blog to censor, delete or ban him, and since his spells of sanity have become rarer and rarer every day and I can no longer depend on him to police himself, I have no choice but to isolate and contain the virus (as mental illness will some day be shown to be).

The Madhouse will open for business when fantomas makes his next obscene, deranged or threatening comment. Those so inclined can visit The Madhouse at any time and commune with its inhabitant(s) if they so desire.

Today, incidentally, is Bastille Day, and it was precisely the anniversary of this calamitous event which gave me the idea for The Madhouse; for when the rabble "liberated" the Bastille they found it populated by just one homicidal madman, whom, of course, they quickly set free, foreshadowing the insanity that was soon to grip all of France.

Our Madhouse will not be subject to attack and will be secure at all times. You can feel as safe there as at a zoo. Buckets will be made available with which to splash the inmates with ice water in the hope of snapping them back to reality.

32 comments:

  1. Fantomas is already exercising self-control.

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  2. Fantomas,
    may I suggest to you a milkshake with several Prozacs as the main ingredient besides milk? Then you can top it with a few Valiums instead of herries. Trust me, it will do you a world of good. After consumig the milkshake you can return to your PC and continue to post your commentaries. Now please excuse me, while I return to my orgy and finish my glass of Kool Aid.

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  3. Manolito creo que debes incluir a Agustin fariñas comment en tu zoologico the madhouse, si te fijas bien en su ultimo mensaje de este thread uso la palabra orgia

    vamos a ser justos ..Y cuando llegue el otro filthy mouth por ahi, tambien envialo para alla ...

    Fantomas is already exercising self-control.

    no te emociones la cabilla sale just when it is necccessary in the meantime

    you can always rely in a kinder gentler fantomas

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  4. fantomas:

    "Kinder and gentler" is certainly the best way to avoid confinement in the Madhouse (which has already been outfitted with iron bars).

    If you are confined in the Madhouse some day (as still seems probable), I will give Vana and Agustín the authority to release you from confinement if they determine you have regained your sanity. So be nice to them on the way to the Madhouse because once there they alone will have the power to release you. The matter, then, will be out of my hands completely.

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  5. If you are confined in the Madhouse some day (as still seems probable), I will give Vana and Agustín the authority to release you from confinement if they determine you have regained your sanity. So be nice to them on the way to the Madhouse because once there they alone will have the power to release you. The matter, then, will be out of my hands completely.

    7/14/2007 2:34 PM

    coño manni , ahi si pareces un niño de 12...

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  6. Fantomas,
    I should point out that the one using that "orgy" metaphor was you, therefore I feel free and I am encouraged to use it when I answer you.
    Quote from Fantomas in Spanglish:
    "this blog is an orgy of lunatics, empezando por su director y acabando con sus commenters"
    Since I am a Kool Aid drinking lunatic, I used whatever metaphor pleased me.
    By the way, did you try the milkshake I recomended? Trust me, it will do you a world of good. It may tame some of that vitriolic foul mouth of yours. Or a least it will put you to sleep for a while, which may not be such a bad idea, come to think of it.

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  7. Fantomas,
    "coño manni , ahi si pareces un niño de 12...

    7/14/2007 2:38 PM

    Enrique,
    cuando uno se dirige a los niños, hay que bajar a su nivel para que te entiendan.

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  8. Agustín:

    José Martí also had to bend down to the level of his audience to write his "Edad de Oro." Except that Martí regarded children as the future of the world.

    Our petulant fantomas is not the future of anything, but in order to communicate with him we must also lower ourselves to his infantile level.

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  9. Manuel,
    Sad to say, I understand your predicament when dealing with our "Ghostly Ambassador" friend.
    Now on another subject.
    We will like to see the unfinished post regarding the Cuban Republic which you promised us a few weeks ago. It will make for interesting subject matter and alos a break from the BUCL travails. I for one, am dying to read your take on the period from Prio's demise until the advent of the current Communist regime. Please include any anectdotes and stories you could share with us regarding this sad period of our History. Also I am sure you have a cornucopia of other articles about Jose Marti and other patriots of our Independence, so please share some of those articles with us. I miss the stories you used to post before the BUCL debacle. Thanks.
    In the meantime,let's leave the ghostly friend to stew in his own juices.

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  10. Agustín:

    You are right. The demise of BUCL will leave us more time for historical musings. I have hundreds of articles on Cuban history, scattered in numberless publication, that I should like to conserve here. Of course, I could write ten posts in the time it takes me to retype an old newspaper article; but if these are to survive oblivion type them I must and will. So, unless something monumental happens next week — such as Henry discovering a BUCL stigmata on his posterior — I shall occupy my time returning these articles to common currency.

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  11. Madhouse is the perfect word to describe this place: a blog created for the sole purpose of declaring one man's insane love for and jealousy (the duality of man, you know...the Jungian thing) of another man. Your crazed ramblings are quite amusing and will be quite fun to parody.

    As for you posting a picture of me, you have to find out who I am first. Good luck. The odds are on me posting a picture of you, before you post one of me.

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  12. Lechero:

    I know perfectly well who you are. First name. And last name. But we established that a long time ago, didn't we? I also know you are no stranger to this "love for man" which you are trying to project unto me. Except that you know personally that man and I don't. You work together, you take trips together, you are inseparable. You defend him and are jealous of him. One doesn't need Jung to figure it out, and contrary to what you think a lot of people have. Perhaps some day those who should, will.

    You may actually be the first one that I induct into The Madhouse. With first and last name.

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  13. Bring it on old man. You and your 4 readers will be that much better informed.

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  14. manuel is el lechero your internet nemesis, old man?

    You seem to be a little uncomfortable

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  15. Manuel,
    now we can make a quintet and have our debut.
    The professor and his 4 Kool Aid kids. Heck, we may even such a great impact on the music world, that someone may start a campaign to make us aware of the Cuban problem. With streamers at our concerts and all. And we may get to advertise in one of those commercials with the words : Got milk?

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  16. Lechero:

    I have myriads of readers and more commenters than babalú. And among those, of course, hordes of Babalunians and their satellites. And you. Who are something apart. Really, you should call yourself fantomas because of the double life that you live. The only one you've managed to fool so far is Val. That figures. Do you think that he's even smart enough to read through this? I wouldn't bet on it. For your sake and Henry's, I hope not.

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  17. Manuel
    on a more serious note, there is a blog where one can see pictures of Tocororo Libre. I was browsing Kill Castro and found the related story there.
    The link is:
    http://ademas-ac.blogspot.com/2007/07/memories-of-tocororo.html
    Thanks Charlie and KC for remembering this great Dad and wonderful human being. The story of his demise and heroical death is there. God bless his soul. May he rest in Peace.

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  18. Manuel,
    below is the story from the blog I mentioned. As you can read from the account of his death, he was a hero and a real Dad till the end.

    Dad dies after saving 11-year-old son
    by Kevin Whitmer
    Wednesday July 04, 2007, 10:27 PM
    A 33-year-old man from Union City died early Wednesday in Myrtle Beach, S.C., after saving his son from drowning.

    On Tuesday afternoon, Hugo Valdes rescued his 11-year-old after noticing the young boy had drifted too far out in the ocean. As Valdes tried to swim back to shore, however, he was caught in a rip current and went under, according to Horry County deputy coroner, Tamara Willard.

    "The New Jersey man was pulled from the water at around 4:45 p.m. and rescue workers gave him CPR. After they found a pulse, Valdes was placed on a ventilator and taken taken to Grand Strand Regional Medical Center."

    "His condition was just very, very grave at that point," said Willard, who noted that the near-drowning had caused too much damage to his organs."

    "Valdes died of respiratory failure early Wednesday, about eight hours after the incident."

    As his sister in law posted in her blog, his son is actually 10 years old not eleven as the article says.
    This story really touched my heart. I can say no more.

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  19. Agustín:

    I actually read that story in the local newspaper and was deeply moved by it even without making the connection that the hero was tocororo. What really can one say? It is a Greek tragedy and also the Christian story of redemption. The greatest, purest love in life calls forth the greatest sacrifice. Can there be a death more natural and more human? Can there be a sacrifice more meaningful? Can there be a greater vindication of the nobility of man, who, alone among creation, is capable of perfect love.

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  20. Tocayo,

    Don't make me laugh. You have 4 readers and a cast of thousands in your head. The number of comments 2 people can make on a blog does make that blog successful. Open up your site meter and we'll see what your numbers are.

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  21. lechero Manuel does not have a site meter...if you click on the word site meter it doesnot do anything...

    queda claro que solo tiene 4 or five visitors ..thats it

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  22. "The number of comments 2 people can make on a blog does make that blog successful."lechero

    I see your English still fails you on occasion. Or was it a Freudian slip? What you have just said is that the comments of two people make this blog successful. I believe that what you meant to say is that the comments of two people don't make this blog successful. Well, you would be right there, if the two people are you and fantomas. Thankfully, I have many more commenters, most of them quite intelligent.

    As I've said, Babalu's greatest fear is that this blog may rival it in numbers because that may explain its precipitous drop in readers and especially commenters. I am sure that RCAB is at least partially responsible for its decline. The rest they did to themselves with BUCL's antics and by featuring again the pseudo-intellectual racist ramblings of the monolingual George Moneo.

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  23. P.S.: I have just addressed your idiocies in the "Dissent Comes At Long Last to Babalú" thread.

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  24. I shall never release him from the Madhouse

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  25. QUOTE OF THE CENTURY


    "Don't make me laugh. You have 4 readers and a cast of thousands in your head"

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  26. Manuel,
    You should clarify for him what Century, since a while back he told me that "the blogs are the books of today". And then he added:
    "Agustin, welcome to the 22nd Century".
    Your self anointed "Nemesis" has trouble distinguishing what Century he is living in. While the rest of us are living in the 21st, he is wandering about lost in the 22nd. Joke of the Century indeed!

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  27. Oh Manuel I love the picture of the Madhouse...LOL...did you put the straight jacket on condom head yet? is he behind bars now?

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  28. Vana...hola

    Alive and kicking?

    just remember in your shoulders lie a big responsability..if Iam ever thrown in that nasty nutty professor mazorra house cage..you are the kool aid girl that can spare me...

    LOL tephmnpdlr( tirado en el piso hasta mas no poder de la risa)

    IT HURTS

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  29. that house picture is scary professor

    is that the house where you keep your 12 year old kids?

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  30. Ghostly friend,
    No, it is your place of residence for the foreseeable future! Get acquainted with the sorrounding area and all the rooms in it. And try to keep your straight jacket clean, please! Now, open wide for your first dosage of Thorazine.

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