FLASH!!! African Jet with 114 Aboard Crashes

The FBI and Justice Department have just announced that they are widening the scope of their investigation of Posada Carriles to include any possible involvement with today's crash of a Nairobi-bound Kenyan jet over the Cameroons.

"Kenya is in Africa and Angola is in Africa, if you know what I mean," replied an investigator at the Justice Department who asked to remain anonymous.

When asked to explain how Posada, who was in Miami under 24-hour surveillance, could have been involved in the Kenyan Airlines disaster, the government investigator replied that "Some things in Star Trek are not science fiction," but declined to elaborate for reasons of national security.

"The good thing about Posada," he continued, "is that we can never be wrong about him. He could be acquitted a thousand times, and he would still be considered guilty. It's like the movie Groundhog Day."

Our source accompanied the FBI's crack team of investigators to Havana last year to examine evidence gathered against Posada by Cuba's Directorate General of Intelligence (DGI).

Asked what he thought of his Cuban counterparts, the American admitted that he found them very collegial, or, as he put it, "really a great bunch of guys."

"Showed you a good time, did they?"

"Yeah and how!"

He said that he was looking forward to hosting the Cubans when they travelled to the U.S. next year to gather evidence for a possible indictment of George Bush on charges of international terrorism (assuming, of course, that the Democrats win).